How to raise resilient kids in a world that watches their every move

Our kids are growing up in a world where everything can be seen, shared, praised, and criticized. Image is everything. When I was younger, I never could have imagined a world where life is on display like it is today. There used to be a quietness growing up, space to figure things out with a few close friends.

That way of life is gone.

Raising kids today often feels like an impossible task. They are growing up in a world where their every move, choice, or flaw can make them fodder for social media. Many moms I talk with feel a heavy burden to help their kids build an identity that can sustain attacks.

And as a parent, that responsibility can feel overwhelming.

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Matt and I have been married for 25 years. We dealt with our own share of scrutiny and public opinion throughout his career in professional baseball. We grew together, rooted in our faith, and learned to navigate the often harsh world of sports commentary.

But now, our two oldest boys, Jackson and Ethan, are on those same fields, playing in those same stadiums. They have the eyes of the fans, and what feels like the world, on them constantly.

When they have a bad day, it feels like everybody has an opinion about their worth. Scrutiny comes with the territory, as my boys are professional athletes. But as moms, we aren’t called to make their lives easier; we’re called to prepare them for the difficult seasons.

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Consider Mary’s example as a mother. Talk about raising a child who would be publicly watched, misunderstood, and criticized. From the very beginning, her story didn’t fit neatly into people’s expectations. And as Jesus grew, the tension only increased. People questioned Him. Misunderstood Him. Eventually, they rejected Him.

Mary couldn’t shield Jesus from public criticism. She couldn’t control how people responded to Him. She couldn’t stop the hard parts of His story. And Mary had a front-row seat to all of it. But she stayed rooted. She stayed present. She was joyful. She trusted God with the boy who became a man right before her eyes. And that feels familiar.

Because we don’t raise strong, grounded kids by removing pressure. We raise them by helping them learn how to stand in it.

And maybe, in a world that watches everything, the most powerful thing we can do as parents is this: Create a home where our kids know they are seen for who they are — not for how they perform. A place where they don’t have to earn love. Where they can bring both their wins and their struggles. Where they know that when the noise of the world gets loud, they still have a place that is steady.

Drawing from scripture, Mary’s life and my own experience, I’d like to offer a few specific principles to help moms raise resilient, faithful kids in today’s world.

Lead with grace, even when you need to correct your kids

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In Genesis, Adam and Eve are afraid. They’re ashamed. And they know they will face consequences for their sin. But God doesn’t start by sending them away. He meets them in the garden and, in their shame, speaks to them in love.

One way we’ve modeled this in our home is by eliminating timeouts. We couldn’t expect our children to understand God’s patient love for them if we modeled it by sending them to a corner when they disobeyed or didn’t listen. We lead with grace, even when correction is necessary — maybe even more so when correction is necessary.

The freedom of forgiveness is one of the most important things we gain as children of God. We can’t share it with our kids until we understand grace, forgiveness, and God’s mercy as true every day for ourselves and let them shape our lives. I didn’t do it right all the time, of course. But I didn’t have to. I was able to ask God for forgiveness. I was also able to talk to my kids about forgiveness and model it.

Perfection has never been a requirement in our home, and I’d encourage you not to make it one in yours. You have to show your kids that they won’t be right all the time and that they can and should ask for forgiveness. Lead them where you want them to go.

Use your home and your life to train your kids up, and trust the Lord to handle the rest

Consider Proverbs 21:31: “The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord.”

Preparing a war horse is a long process built on grueling, intentional, consistent training required to make the animal battle-ready. Parenting is different in many ways, of course, but it demands the same kind of intentionality. It happens quietly, in the home, in the ordinary moments.

Every mom I meet feels a deep responsibility to raise her kids to live firmly in their identity as children of God. It’s easy to focus on that responsibility and overlook the second half of this verse. We prepare the horse, and we release the outcome. We do the work, and we surrender the results.

That’s a lesson worth learning for ourselves and passing on to our kids. They are called to show up, work hard, be prepared, and recognize that true victory belongs to the Lord. Train your kids.

But don’t train them thinking you’re going to determine their lives, or protect them from hardship.

Show them excellence – in others, in faith, in themselves

I wanted my kids to see great things and see great men. We wanted them around people who showed them how to lead, be a friend, and work hard. So they traveled with us and spent time with honorable, godly men who coached and played with their dad. We’ve encouraged them to follow the example of athletes like Adam Wainwright, Jaime Garcia, and others connected through Sports Spectrum who have navigated this career with faith and integrity, modeling how to live out their faith in the public arena — while also building relationships with men of faith who understand the high-pressure environment they’re in.

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As moms, we have the privilege of showing our kids where to look and how to see. Always call out awesomeness. Make sure your kids are around people who live admirable lives. Point out what others are doing well. After all, more is caught than taught. When they see greatness, they’ll want to emulate it.

No matter what advice you get, though, nothing can change the fact that motherhood is hard. The emotional difficulty for many women around Mother’s Day is often even harder.

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But we as mothers have the chance to leave a powerful legacy. That starts in our hearts and in our homes and in the unseen grace that pours out from God through us to the people we love.

So let God work through you. Let God make you His hands and feet. Let God bring peace, security and resilience to your children, whoever they may be, through your life.